I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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