She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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