I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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