And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize