you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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