Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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