It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize