When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
