i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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