Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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