Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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