Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
