Already got asked if we're dating
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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