Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I party with great urgency now.
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