Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
