C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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