you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
