You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
