you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize