Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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