is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
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