Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
