True but thats because hes a fetus.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
