S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
