he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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