I hope mine doesn't look like that
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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