I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
