i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
