I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
