if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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