I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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