What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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