shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
