It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
