Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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