So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
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