ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
