..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
