She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
MIDGETS
????
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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