it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
