no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
