So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
