I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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