we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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