Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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