And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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