we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
