I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I'm having to shit out rocks
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
