Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
