oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
