we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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