I look better un-naked...
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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