a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
