Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just gargled with NyQuil
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
