Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
