If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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