I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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