We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
