My friends, they love my intelligence
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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