you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
