This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I met the friendliest cop last night
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
