someone threw a dead crab at me
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
