So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
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