stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
