so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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